Emotional Soberness.

There is always that one aspect of our lives that always throws our life’s balance into total upheaval, if that particular aspect is not put in check. For me, it has been my emotional being. The past two months have been an emotional rollercoaster for me, having been hell-bent on controlling and shaping the little things in my life that I had no control over. If I was not obsessing about why death was so cruel as to take my friends from me, or why my boss was being so mean, then I was obsessing about my health, my family, my spiritual being etc. This made me angry, discouraged and frustrated, and threw my whole life’s balance into turmoil. I realized that I was drunk with my emotions and needed to have emotional soberness in order to have balance in all aspects of my life.

So the question, and greatest challenge I faced, was how to achieve emotional soberness. How was I going to calmly attend to my emotions and keep them in check, even when they seemed to overwhelm me, and throw me into a fete of outbursts, tears and frustrations? How was I going to stop myself from (over) reacting over and over again, and find that place inside where joy resides, and allow the joy to take the pain away? How was I going to ensure that I had emotional stability and balance? How was I going to channel the energy I was using negatively and transform it to positive energy?

1. I had to do a self evaluation to get to learn about my emotional composition. I had to list my emotional reaction pattern- whether I was easily irritable, or whether I was prone to discouragements, or whether I took everything people said to heart, or whether I overreacted to petty stuff. This helped me realize that my emotional patterns were harmful to me and the people around me, and that I needed to change these patterns into constructive ones.
2. After the self evaluation I needed self assurance. I needed to constantly reassure myself that I am loved by someone somewhere, even though I may not know it. That It was OK for me to cry sometimes. That I am worthy, even though I may be broken. That I am not perfect, but I am good enough. That my troubles are momentary and they will pass, even though they seem eternal. That every chaos in my life had some splendor therein, I just had to find the beauty in it. That I am not alone, even though sometimes I may feel that way. That I will not let fret and trepidation rule my life. That in my weakness, there shall my strength be made perfect. And most importantly, I needed to remind myself that I am fine, and that I and everything else will be OK.
3. I needed to watch and examine my emotions, to keep track of my emotional pattern, and not get so caught up in external happenings. Keeping a journal really helped me in taking responsibility of my emotional being, and being accountable to my emotional soberness.
4. Lastly, I had to apologize to those who had been victims to my emotional outbursts, and keep everything in my life in perspective by taking things slow. This meant analyzing those things that made me have emotional outbursts, and think critically as to whether it was worth getting emotional over them, and take appropriate actions to ensure that they will not weigh me down.

The truth is, it is very hard to achieve emotional soberness. Some emotions and situations that warrant reactions are simply inevitable and being cool, calm and collected in such situations is simply impossible (unless you are a perfect phlegmatic in nature). Emotional soberness needs commitment- commitment to stay calm in situations that guarantee anger outbursts, commitment to stop and think how you will react to a situation, commitment to choose to react in a positive manner in the worst case scenarios. Such commitment is only God given. So, are you in that place, where emotions have taken over your life’s balance? Its time you achieved emotional soberness.